Face the Fear — and Put It Out There Anyway

By Gail Richards - Nov 26 , 2007

Picture the night before you tell the world about your book—–

You are lying in bed when, sometime after midnight, the email you so meticulously crafted is broadcast. You will have officially, publicly, irretrievably launched. You’ve told the world — at least your highly targeted piece of it — about your book.

As you picture this, are you scared to death?

That’s the funny thing about putting yourself out there. You do all the right things to share with the world, only to find yourself terrified about what’s actually going to happen. Why?

I’ve observed three reasons this happens–actually, more like three fears. I’d love to tell you all I had done was to observe them from a distance, but I would be lying.

If you can prepare yourself for these fears in advance, they are likely to end up being non-issues rather than looming monsters.

Fear of Change
It’s not success or failure we fear, it’s that either of those two things are different than what we’re used to. The Great Unknown. And there’s this horrible feeling that there’s nothing we can do about it.

After we send out our book, our message, and our reputation into the world, a lot will change. Our work routine will change. Our focus will change. Our energy will change. And while we have some idea of what that could mean, we really have no idea what it will mean. And that scares us.

That’s funny, considering that you, me, and all the people we know experience change on some level almost daily and it doesn’t phase us. So what’s the difference?

It’s the realization that this change will occur at a very personal level. It’s just not the same thing as finding out that our favorite dry cleaner is changing hours or that there is now a construction detour on the way to the grocery store.

Take yourself back to other life changes you’ve weathered that surely were more monumental than birthing a book, all things considered. You made it through those and now you have the benefit of experience and time on your side.

Being a creature of habit is highly overrated. Stop the insanity! Any changes brought about by your book’s launch will be a breeze compared to what you have already handled.

Fear of Being Exposed
I know you’re an expert in your field. Your colleagues know you are an expert in your field. Even assorted and sundry friends, neighbors, and distant relatives know it. Yet you may find you have a nagging feeling that somehow you will be exposed as a fraud.

That feeling has its roots back in elementary school. Remember? You were called on by the teacher, and you either couldn’t respond or you responded incorrectly. What? You thought you were the only one who did that? Puh-leeze. I hate to inform you, but you are not special in that way.

Everyone is an expert at something. No one is an expert at everything. Including you. Be willing and comfortable with admitting it, and just watch how your fear subsides.

Keep in mind at all times this cardinal rule of being in the spotlight: If you don’t know the answer, say so. Say what you do know, but never be defensive or deceitful.

Sometimes a question or comment won’t even pertain to the discussion or your knowledge—why should you feel compelled to answer it? Yet many of us feel bad when we can’t. Enough already.

What you lack in answers to one or two questions that may not even be relevant in the first place, you will make up for one thousandfold in credibility and authenticity.

Fear of Not Being All Things to All People
This is one of those fears that can sneak up on you because it is one thing in theory and quite another in practice. It takes practice for most of us to be able to distinguish the difference between imperfections in or disagreement with our message, as compared to a personal flaw and inadequacy. Walk with me now, down my own memory lane, and imagine that you were the one who sent out a newsletter and someone —

• Pointed out that you had placed the quotation marks on the wrong side of the comma.
• Implored you to change the day of the week that you offer a particular class because it is not convenient for her.
• Complained about a link that didn’t work and berated you over your lack of professionalism.
• Is appalled by your color palette.
• Wanted to know who you are and exactly how you got her email address. (Her daughter gave it to me).
• Reported you as a spammer rather than simply unsubscribing.

Silly, right? Those people need a hobby, right? None of that was even about content! Even so, the cumulative effect can be unnerving if you are unprepared and may leave you feeling that you will have to change your website every time you read your email. Don’t. Take action only when the greater good will be served. Forget the rest.

This is not to say you shouldn’t pay attention to what your audience shares. You should, but be discerning and don’t take it personally. Your skin will get thicker. At this point, mine is like armor.

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