The Upside of Assumption

By Gail Richards - Jul 21 , 2008

The Universe got my attention in a big way this past weekend about a nasty habit I have around making assumptions. First I was frustrated, then I laughed–now I get it.

I’m not sharing this experience to make the point you may expect. This is not an example of that trite yet time-honored warning: “You know what happens when you assume—?”

That’s old news.

I’m sharing because, in this case, my assumptions got me to the other side of a river I’d been hesitant to cross. They got me just far enough into the middle of a personal stream that I had no choice but to keep going until I got to the other side.

I spent last weekend in Dallas, where I participated in a conference for women business owners and entrepreneurs. My purpose there was to talk with authors about next steps for their books (in many cases, very first steps). This was a working trip and I was ready—or so I thought.

My clonk on the head from the Universe came just as I was leaving the airport.

Prior to the trip, my husband gently pointed out to me that every year I participate in this same conference, and every year I come home never having left the hotel. He felt it was a little pathetic that I had visited the same city multiple times, yet never actually visited it. He suggested getting a cheap rental car so that I could leave the hotel at night like a normal person. He made this suggestion knowing well my trepidation about travel in general and driving in cities I don’t know.

When I returned from my last business trip to LA for Book Expo, I had commented on how great it was to have a GPS in the car my friend had rented. I believe my exact words were, “I’m never going to a new city without one of these. Ever. Just so you know.”

So, in addition to taking on the brain damage of comparison shopping for a decently priced rental car, he borrowed a GPS from a friend for me to bring along. ‘Wow,’ I thought. ‘This rocks! He’s thought of everything; this could actually be okay.’

Yes, it’s true—I can design websites, write killer ad copy, use Photoshop with one hand tied behind my back, leap tall buildings in a single bound, all while chewing gum—but travel to a strange city? Forget it.

I pulled out of the rental car garage and headed for the conference. The GPS told me to turn right, then left, then get onto the highway ramp. As it turns out, that was pure coincidence. Once I got onto the highway, that same little gadget told me to “drive south, 526 miles.” The trusty GPS that I had hung my hopes on had defaulted to the original home address of its rightful owner as the starting point.

So there I was in a strange car in a strange city, driving on the wrong highway. How could this be? Operator error on my part, of course, but whizzing down the highway at the time, the only thing I could do was panic—but much to my surprise, I didn’t.

I had assumed things would be fine — better than fine — and instead one of my worst nightmares was happening, and there was not a darned thing I could do about it. What did I do? I breathed. I pulled over. I got my bearings the old-fashioned way, and continued on to the hotel without a hitch. That may seem small to most readers, and I get that, but for me, this was monumental. Colossal, even. (Those who know me are reading this, shaking their heads, thinking, “‘Colossal’ might well be an understatement.”)

Yeah, it’s kind of a funny story. But kind of not.

How many opportunities have I let slip by over time because I was nervous about traveling alone in big cities? My intellect always has understood that people do this all the time without batting an eye, but my intellect was no match for my insecurities.

• How many opportunities will you miss if you don’t explore where the act of becoming an author will take you?
• Are you willing to be honest with yourself about those places where your intellect and your insecurities collide?
• What assumptions can you make about your work that might find you stepping outside your comfort zone either intentionally or unexpectedly?

How many things have I not achieved, how many people have I not crossed paths with— that I easily could have— because I was paralyzed and reluctant over what, let’s face it, is a very small piece of any puzzle?

• How many times have you not ‘gone with the flow?’
• How many times have you avoided a particular path or connection because you were afraid you weren’t ready? Weren’t smart enough? Weren’t ‘good enough?’

And don’t even get me started on the number of invitations to out of town weddings and graduations I’ve politely declined.

I never would have rented a car to drive around Dallas unless I was certain I had all my ducks in a row. Unless I was sure that nothing could go wrong.

Well, thank my lucky stars, those ducks had other plans.

My assuming nothing could go wrong doesn’t make any more sense than my assuming everything will go wrong. The difference is, feeling secure and supported allowed me to swim out further from the shore than I normally would have.

• When was the last time you felt confident in the fact that either nothing or everything could go wrong, and you would still emerge just fine?

You can assume the worst, assume the best, or assume nothing, but only one of those paths is going to put you in a position to see what you can really accomplish.

My new take on things—just get over yourself and dive in.

Yes, you’re going to get wet and maybe even get a little water up your nose, but you will make it to the other side, you may just not know it yet.

©2008 Gail Richards