We Get by with a Little Help from Our Friends—and Family

By BNI & Referral Institute - Aug 03 , 2009

By Paula Frazier

One very effective strategy to selling your latest book or building your business and your marketing platform network is to reconnect with friends and colleagues from your past. Sometimes we can get so focused on that overwhelming forest of friends that we forget to look a little closer to home – literally.

You know that you can always count on your family, the people that know you, love you, and trust you to refer you. Right? Wrong! Think about it: When was the last time your mother, father, sister, brother, or significant other introduced you to a prospective writer, editor, agent or publisher? Most of us would have to say —– NEVER!

This doesn’t make sense. Most of our family members have been around us our entire lives. They taught us valuable lessons that we’ll carry with us forever, and they’ve even impacted the adults we’ve become. They’ve also seen us at our not-so-glamorous moments. You know, standing in the middle of a growth opportunity. We turned out okay. So now we’re on our own? They’ve done their part and the rest is up to us? That’s not it at all!

With most families, the good news is—you’re in the family. The bad news is—you’re in the family. The great news is that you’re in it together. So why aren’t they helping you? Simply put, they don’t know how.

Those of you that are fortunate enough to see your immediate family on a regular basis typically have the same day-to-day dialogues. Far too many of us make time for family and friends only on special occasions and holidays. We don’t have conversations. We have verbal fiestas about everything except selling your books and building your business!

So should we realistically expect our family and friends to provide us with information, support and referrals to help us market our next book campaign or business project? Yes!

Okay. I’ll tell on myself to make it a little less painful for you. True story:

I am a fourth generation entrepreneur. My family is all about innovative business opportunities—starting something from nothing and making it successful. My great grandfather made his living as a master plumber, thanks to his plumbing training in the Navy. My grandparents set up shop in central Florida (just before Disney World came to town) selling cash registers to new and existing businesses. Can you say supply and demand? My parents currently own and operate the most established sign company (not sign brokerage) in their region. Until my dad’s dad passed away, there were three generations under one roof bending channel letters, molding double-faced signs, and even crafting neon. One of their customers is a very famous mouse (Mickey).

So how do you follow that?!?

I’m off to a pretty good start. I’ve been in the referral marketing industry nearly 9 years and I’m blessed to have the respect of the leaders in my profession. I’m even acknowledged in a New York Times bestseller and have my articles published on a regular basis. And still they have no clue about what I do!!!

So I invited my family to see me in action at a national conference being hosted right in their back yard. I had tickets for everyone—even my mom came.

That day she saw me take the stage in front of hundreds of people to introduce BNI’s Founder & Chairman, Dr. Ivan Misner. Then she proudly watched as I offered a 45-minute presentation to my peers. Throughout the day, the best of the best in my industry told my mom just how wonderful I was, without any prompting.

So now she understands what I do? Kinda. Here’s what my mom said before she left the ballroom that day in the sweetest, most sincere tone you’ve ever heard: “Paula, YOU are wonderful! I don’t know what you call THAT, but we need it!” WORKS FOR ME—for now!

Take a look at the people that are at the epicenter of your social network—especially your family—and begin to educate them as part of your information, support, and referral network!

TAKE ACTION by having a professional conversation with someone near and dear to you:

1. Connect with at least one family member each month.
2. Tell them you’d like to learn more about what they do for a living.
3. Explain what you do to market your book/your business and share a spellbinding story about your best customer or most fantastic sale.
4. Listen for their business needs and offer to introduce them to people who can help them.
5. Invite them to your workplace so they can better understand your business, your process, your success.

I’ll ask you again—–Do the people who know you, like you, and trust you, WANT to help you succeed in the book industry or your business? YES! They simply need to know how and to be ever-so-gently-and-gradually nudged into it.

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Paula Frazier is a referral marketing trainer, consultant, and keynote speaker. She is an Executive Director for BNI and part of a select team of Master Trainers for Referral Institute. Paula’s business networking articles have been published internationally. She is also acknowledged in the New York Times best seller, Truth or Delusion – Busting Networkings Biggest Myths. Check out Delusion #33, with a twist! Paula can be contacted at paula@referralinstitute-va.com.