Fake It ‘Til You Make It—Confidence Is the Key to Success!

By Susan Goodsell - Aug 24 , 2009

When my daughter was young, I was the original Earth Mother: organic baby food and 100% fruit juice; no Happy Meal or corn syrup solids would ever pass my precious child’s lips!

Consumption of soft drinks is widespread, and even though I didn’t personally buy it, I knew Kelsey would be exposed to it. So what did I do? I never, ever served soda to her and if anyone asked her if she wanted some, I simply told Kelsey, “You don’t like soda.”

It never occurred to her to question that statement as she heard it dozens, if not hundreds, of times in her life from the time she started using a sippy cup. As she became a toddler, able to speak for herself, “I don’t like soda” became her response!

The gig was up when Kelsey was almost six years old. We were at a birthday party and her little voice excitedly whooped across the backyard, “I like it! I LIKE it!” She had been given a can of Sprite and thought it nectar from the gods. Sigh.

So what does the saga (some would say deception) of the soda have to do with us as writers? Sometimes things in our careers simply aren’t as we’d like them to be, and when this is so, the best strategy is to act as if they were:

• Act as if you are a prolific author.
• Act as if your book has been published.
• Act as if you are successfully and happily living the writer’s life you wish for.

Figure out what your goals are, and then act as if you were already that person, leading that life.

For example: One wishes to become healthier. What are the daily habits of a “healthy person?” They choose fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains over sugary trans-fatty acids and high-calorie junk food. They walk the dog after dinner or bike with the kids rather than spending hours on the couch watching television. If you do these things, you do, in fact, become healthy!

Professor William James, the most famous psychologist America has ever produced, wrote:

Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. So, to feel brave, act as if we were brave, use all of our will to that end, and a courage fit will very likely replace the fit of fear.

So what are the daily habits of a successful writer? While you will need to decide upon and initiate the daily habits which work best for you, here are some suggestions:

• Write consistently
• Read
• Connect with other writers
• Observe the world
• Practice the fundamentals of grammar and syntax
• Set goals

More than 20 years ago, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., wrote a wonderful book titled Feel the Fear…And Do It Anyway. Though not specifically slated to the book industry, it’s a worthy read for all writers. It’s about taking responsibility for your life, understanding that you are in control, and that this realization is your greatest blessing.

(It’s interesting to note that Jeffers book was initially rejected by so many publishers that for a few years she gave up trying to get it published. One rejection letter actually said, “Lady Di could be cycling nude down the street giving this book away, nobody would read it.” Ouch! And you thought your editor/publisher was rough?!)

Going back to Kelsey — she is now a self-confident 16-year-old who successfully uses “Fake it ‘til you make it!” in her life. When asked about this subject, she said she does it, “all the time.”

“I’m a teen girl!” says Kelsey, “We are self-conscious about everything. I just did this on the cruise when I went into the teen room and left after two minutes because no one talked to me.”

Kelsey said she realized immediately it would be a very boring vacation if she had no one her age to hang out with, so she turned around and went back, having realized that no one talked to her because they, too, were self-conscious and knew no one to talk to. She wanted to hang out with teens who were fun and outgoing, so she went in and acted as if she were fun and outgoing.

She had 30 new friends by the second day and came home with contact information for them all.

And no, she has really never forgiven me for the whole soda thing—but I’d wager a—umm, errrr, uhhhh—well, I’d wager a case of soda pop that she uses the very same strategy when she herself is a parent!