Build Optimistic Relationships in the Workplace

By Dr. Russ - Feb 16 , 2011

This week began with Valentines Day, and despite its over commercialization, it is a day when we can not only celebrate but reflect upon how to improve our relationships; not only at home or in our personal lives, but in our work lives.  The average person spends more waking hours per week with their coworkers than with their family.  Relationships at work are important.

Building and maintaining positive relationships is essential to creating an atmosphere and culture of optimism in the workplace.  I recommend we might take this day and week of Valentines as an opportunity to examine ways we can improve relationships of all kinds and especially those at work.

Ten Tips for Building more Positive Relationships in the Workplace

1. Don’t just focus on what you like most about a co-worker, but try to learn to appreciate what you like least about them.
2. Make it a point to give one co-worker a day some kind of verbal appreciation. It could be as simple as, “Thanks for . . . It could take the form of bringing in some cookies, cake or fruit to share.
3. Make a list of little random acts of kindness you could do around the office, from dusting, to making coffee, or passing on a positive and inspirational quote.
4. Remember, even under the crusty outer surface of the chronic complainer is someone who wants a better world.  Redefine their complaint as a problem, and offer to help solve it.
5. Remember a relationship is built by what you give to it and not what you take from it.  Make your first thought, “What can I give to this person that might make his/her day better?”  It might be a simple smile, a cup of coffee, an attentive answer to a question, or some interesting tidbit of information.
6. When you give as above, you feel good about your act of giving and yourself.  The good feeling experienced is a beginning of the payback for a kind act and is enough in and of itself.
7. Looking for something to appreciate in a co-worker, close your eyes, then open them, and look, listen and feel the everyday ebb and flow of energy in the workplace.  You likely will notice some small contribution the individual is making.  Make a comment and verbalize your appreciation for that effort.
8. Think about something you have learned from the other.  We might, for example, have learned from the complainer how to get your head out of the sand and identify something that needs a fix.
9. Take the risk of admitting your vulnerability and let a co-worker know how depend on him/her to come to your aid in a “pinch.”
10. Start talking with co-workers about positively partnering-up to solve problems in the office or organization.

Now, make a commitment to appreciate one specific act, thought or quality about a coworker, everyday. It doesn’t have to be the same co-worker.  I have found that positivity is infectious even when you have a grinch for a boss.  Try it out for a few days or a week, and see how it goes.  Let me know the results in a comment. Thanks.