And I bought in to what he was saying…hook, line and sinker.

As it turns out, I worked on my doctorate in some pretty impressive company. One classmate became the Deputy Director of the FAA; another the Director of Library Services for all of Los Angeles County. I even attended classes with the Captain of the Palace Guard for Saddam Hussein!

The sad news is, though, that I’ve never actually passed a referral to – or received one from – any of these high-level classmates. That’s right. Even though I founded, while working on my doctorate no less, what turned out to be the world’s largest networking organization, I never did utilize much of the “elite network” I was told I would have for a lifetime.

Why is that? Because even though the degree program certainly delivered the opportunity to meet valuable contacts, it never taught me the skills needed to utilize them. After graduation, we quickly spread out to realize the fruits of our labors, and outside of the classroom, we had no real context in which we could keep in touch.

Telling us that we had a great network, but not giving us the tools on now to capitalize on that network, was like telling someone there is a car out there but not giving him any idea of how to drive it!

In all fairness to my particular program, when I was an entrepreneur getting my graduate degree it was in the early- and mid-80s, and today’s tools – particularly social networking and other online services – weren’t readily available to allow us keep in touch. Today, however, there are a multitude of options to help you maintain the relationships you make while pursuing a college or university degree.

1. Take Advantage of Your School’s Alumni Services Department

Interestingly, colleges and universities have only recently realized this same thing: In order to increase and maintain alumni engagement long after graduation, it is vital to establish the connection with the alumni before they leave and spread out all over the country and around the world. They are doing this by creating networking “affinity” groups and other opportunities to get involved. These efforts help students sustain their relationships with each other and – through this – sustain their connections with their universities.

By remaining active with your alumni organization, you may also have the opportunity to share news about your business that may catch the eye of your fellow graduates. Because I kept my schools updated with what I was doing in business, I was given a full feature article in one undergraduate university I attended, and two features in another!

2. Technical Tools Do Much of the Work For You

With the constant moving around that everyone does today, people are making more contacts than ever…and it’s impossible to keep track of every valuable contact without the use of technical tools. For this reason, it’s vital to set up – and maintain – a database of the people you come in contact with.

In addition to the standard contact databases available in Microsoft Outlook or Apple Contacts, or the more robust contact management systems such as ACT, there are web-based contact storage systems that let you store your contacts in “the cloud.” You can do this in Gmail, MSN Live, Yahoo – or through your account in LinkedIn or Plaxo.  My favorite online system is www.Relate2Profit.com. They have elements that directly relate to someone’s networking efforts.

Don’t forget the amazing capabilities of smart phones to help you store important contact information. For example, there’s a new mobile app available for iPhone and Android phones called Go2Tag. This app literally allows you to create and apply customized “tags” to your contacts, so that you can remember who came from where, and where they’re from: university classmates, those you met at a particular chamber or other networking group, contacts you meet at trade shows…even those you make through church, civic groups, or your kids’ school or sports activities).

3. Online Business and Social Networks

Facebook was started at Harvard University, and now it’s morphed into an international network of people, from students to parents, from entrepreneurs to brands, from friends to families and more. I hear stories all the time about how adults have re-connected with classmates they haven’t seen in years. LinkedIn is the largest “business-only” social network, and you will likely find many of your former classmates on there.

These are just two of the many social networks available for you to connect and keep in contact.

As you can see, there are many tools available today for maintaining contact with former classmates; you decide which work best for you. The main thing is to maintain touch points with these potentially wonderful business contacts. You can’t just pick up the phone and ask for a favor out of the blue 10, 15 or 20 years later!

Called the “father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author. He is the Founder and Chairman of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization. His newest book, Networking Like a Pro, can be viewed at www.IvanMisner.com. Dr. Misner is also the Senior Partner of the Referral Institute, an international referral training company.

In this chat room, I noticed that there were some people with what seemed like irreconcilable difference.  I won’t go into details, but two people with very different perspectives had an argument.  Emotions got involved, ignore buttons were used, and they parted ways for the night.

I don’t know if they’ll ever reach an agreement.  In fact, I don’t think it’s important that they do.  Some people just aren’t compatible to work together. I learned that their conflict was necessary to discover that they likely can’t work together in any meaningful capacity.

My other story deals with the book publishing industry.  Long after the first big argument, I ran into a smaller argument about the book industry.  I was trying to demonstrate that books are a means to an end, which plays a big role in where the industry is going.

One of the points of contention was over people making money with books.  I was trying to point out that because of torrents and market saturation, books are not a good way to make money in and of themselves.

The conflict in the argument came when this person tried to argue that people would still be able to make money, selling books, because of all of the safeguards in place to protect from piracy.

The argument didn’t address my original point that books are not a good means to making money in and of themselves.  Media saturation would still keep authors from being noticed.

The person I was arguing with was focused on a minute detail while I was focused on the bigger picture.  While not necessarily an irreconcilable difference, it was telling of how each of us communicates.

My point in all of this is to demonstrate that it’s important to have conflict.  We need it to qualify our colleagues.

It also demonstrates how different people communicate.  Be mindful of your communication style. Take the Myers-Briggs personality test to see what I mean.

Does anyone have any stories they’d like to share about their conflicts?  What did you learn?

What is networking?

The definition of networking, according to Entrepreneur.com, is “Developing and using contacts made in business for purposes beyond the reason for the initial contact. For example, a sales representative may ask a customer for names of others who may be interested in his product.”

Let’s take this definition a little bit further by introducing the force of the Internet.  Let’s define online networking as “Creating contacts in an online environment for purposes beyond the context of the original contact. For example, a book marketer may approach an Internet forum full of goat herders to see if there are any authors there who might need his help.”

What’s the importance of networking?

The importance of networking depends on the how much value you can get out of it.  If you use it to create enough business to reach your goals, then it’s very important.  If you network for purposes that don’t aid you in your endeavors, then it’s not worth much.

How you network is key to its importance and value.

How do I network online?

Let’s assume you’re just starting out with your online presence.  You don’t know anybody and nobody is aware of you.

Step 1: Determine what you have to offer.  If you have nothing to offer, then go learn a useful skill set.

Step 2:  Determine what types of people need what you have to offer.

Step 3:  Seek out like-minded people.  Using your favorite search engine, search for websites tailoring to people who share similar interests with you.  These can be interests other than the service/product you have to offer.  Take my goat herder example from above (as silly as it sounds).  You might find groups on Facebook, Internet forums, meet up groups, blogs, or any other social media site.

Step 4:  Start authentic dialogue.  This is the only way to get people interested in what you have to offer.  Remember, people are buying YOU.  Be open about yourself and what you have to offer.  Test your mettle.

I’m using this process myself.  I didn’t just make it up for the sake of making myself look smart.  Use this process and you will get results.

What kind of online networking results are you getting?

If you want more information on networking, check out Dr. Ivan Misner’s posts. He’s the master of networking.

Here’s the thing, it brings up the question ‘How real is too real?’.  How much do you share with people you only kind of know (or don’t know at all)?  How much is too much?  How do you evaluate what may or may not be too much?

Each of us must answer the above questions for ourselves.  Wether you like it or not, transparency is really no longer an option. Things like social networks and social media have made it easy to find information for just about anyone. Reality is, we have to consciously decide what information about ourselves we’ll be putting out online.

Gretchen Rubin of ‘The Happiness Project’ has some standards that she keeps as part of her checklist before she posts something.

•           Am I being funny?

•           Am I giving interesting information from science, history, literature, etc.?

•           Am I revealing my character?

•           Am I telling stories?

•           Am I showing what it’s like to live in New York City?

•           Am I linking to other bloggers?

•           Am I comfortable with my parents reading this? (I never work blue.)

•           Am I criticizing anyone except myself?

Facebook and other social media were not something that I was automatically comfortable with.  It took me some time.  Honestly, I’m still not sure where my line is. How much information I really want out on the big world wide web about me and my personal life.  I think a checklist is a great starting point to gauge what I want to post.

Below is a video that shows some of the details about social media, the web and how things are changing.  While you watch it pay close attention to the words and what’s being said. What do you think?  Have you thought about it?  Have you really put conscious thought into what kind of personal information you want exposed?  I would love to know where you stand, might help me come to some of my own conclusions

Those of you who work in organizations might be familiar with an increasingly popular position, that of chief networking officer (CNO). The CNO is the person who handles many corporations’ business networking and community-related activities such as these:

Community involvement            Diversity

Internal communication            Client/customer relationships

External communication            Developing a word-of-mouth campaign

Public relations            Departmental collaboration

Corporate culture            Relationship advertising and marketing

Social capital            Improve vendor relationships

Human resources            Referral generation strategies

In this article I will focus on two roles of the CNO:

(1) word-of-mouth campaigns, and

(2) referral generation strategies.

These roles should be top of mind if you’re going to network like a pro. They should be the principal job focus of your CNO.

First, however, let’s address the thought that’s probably just popped into your head: Hey, it’s just a 10-person (four-person/one-person) organization; how can I afford to hire a CNO to do my networking?

As business professionals ourselves, we remember what it was like trying to get a company off the ground. And quite frankly, there never seemed to be enough resources to take care of all the things the business needed, let alone hire an executive-level person.

What I’m suggesting is creating a CNO position in your company — and filling it yourself, at least in the beginning. In other words, don’t hire a CNO – just take on the mindset of a CNO.

How do you create a CNO mindset? Here are five actions you can take now.

1.            Engage in two-to-three networking events each month and follow up with people you meet.

As a smart, enterprising businessperson, you already know the importance of networking and how vital it is to meet new people. One of the biggest mistakes people make, however, is failing to follow up.

By adopting a CNO mindset, you recognize that meeting new folks while networking is just the first step toward generating more word-of-mouth business. The second step is meeting them later over coffee or lunch to learn more about their business and how you can help them. When you do that, you pave the way for future referral business.

2.            Touch base with past business contacts by making two personal phone calls each week.

Again, if you’re like me, you’ve got so much going on that the thought of making two more phone calls is almost too much. But remember, a CNO’s job is to maintain relationships and generate referrals. And that can’t happen unless you stay in touch.

3.             Use postcards and greeting cards to stay in touch with people throughout the year.

A good time to do this is on annual holidays. Not only for Christmas or New Year’s, but also St. Patrick’s Day (March), Memorial Day (May), Independence Day (July), Labor Day (September) and Halloween (October) as special occasions when a card can be an unexpected surprise.

You can start off by buying a pack of 20 cards and sending them to people you’ve fallen out of touch with or with whom you’d like to reconnect: past clients, past vendors, a friend of a friend, another business owner you chatted with at your local coffee shop a few months ago. Doing this will keep you top of mind with these people in a unique way.

4. Take good care of your database.

With all this talk about phone calls and greeting cards, it makes sense that a CNO should have a topflight contact database and contact management system (CMS) to help him or her stay organized and on top of things. For those of you who might not be familiar with these terms, a contact database / contact database is simply a storage facility that enables you to keep track of all the people you’ve met. It can be as simple as a physical card file or as high-tech as an online data site. It just needs to be something you can use so the business cards you’ve acquired don’t end up falling off your desk and onto the floor.

Using database management software can streamline and supercharge your referral-generation system. Because there are data entry fields for many different kinds of information (email address, phone number, profession, where you met the contact, etc.), you can sort contacts by many different criteria and target emails to particular segments of your database with a few clicks of the mouse. I have experience with several such systems, including ACT, Microsoft Outlook, and Relate2Profit.com.

The reason these systems are so important for a CNO is because his contacts are his business! You can’t get referrals unless you have relationships, and you can’t have relationships unless you stay in touch and up to date with contacts. A good contact database and contact management system enables you to do both while creating a powerful word-of-mouth marketing campaign.

5. Always thank your referral partners.

A “referral partner” is not simply a contact who gives you referrals every once in a while; a referral partner is someone with whom you have entered into a relationship that is mutually trusting, respectful and beneficial. Maintaining that relationship means, among other things, thanking your contact for referrals. It’s not only good manners; it’s good for keeping the benefits mutual.

A thank-you can and often should take the form of reciprocation, of course: Get a referral, give a referral. The Law of Reciprocity, however, doesn’t require such a quid-pro-quo response, and indeed it might even seem a bit artificial if it happened as a matter of course. The person being thanked might be inclined to think, “If my partner can send me one referral every time I send him a referral, how many might he be able to send me if he sent me all the business he knows I could use? Is he, in other words, holding back? Is he doling them out like dog treats every time I perform a trick?”

Rather than foster such ideas, make sure you send your partner a referral every time you have the opportunity; chances are the ones you receive from him (and others) will balance out in the long run. Gratitude by reciprocity should be given freely and abundantly and not in measured response to the number of referrals received. A referral partnership should never be viewed as a simple accountancy.

A simple “thank you” is always appreciated and should always be the first response given. It’s probably the single biggest action a CNO can take to maximize the number of referrals he gets. This will typically double the amount of referral business he or she gets from an existing referral partner.

This simple thanks can take many forms other than a spoken “Thank you.” There are many ways to show your gratitude, but it’s important simply to understand that thanking the person who gave you a referral in the first place is just as important as getting that referral. When you do that, that person will be more likely to refer again and provide another revenue boost for your business.

Called the “father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author.  He is the Founder and Chairman of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization.  His newest book, Networking Like a Pro, can be viewed at www.IvanMisner.com.   Dr. Misner is also the Sr. Partner for the Referral Institute, an international referral training company.

Spam from ‘friends’ on my Facebook wall is very different matter.

My Facebook wall is almost a holy place, where I interact with friends, family, and soon to be better friends. So when marketers decide to place an ad on my wall, it feels worse and is a true violation of the unwritten rules of common decency on FB.  It the equivalent of  someone putting a Billboard on my front yard without my consent.

Usually when this happens I just delete their wall post and remove them from my friend list, which is what I was about to do yesterday morning.  Then something switched in my brain. I decided to use the very same tool the ‘spammer’ used to fight back.

Below is the series of back and forth’s I had when I got ‘spammed’ by Paul Cutright yesterday morning. It is raw and unedited, includes typos and is just as it happened.

It started with this post on my FB Wall.

Paul Cutright Hi Anthony – Dr. Joe Vitale is so inspiring! I just watched

this interview he did with Ryan Higgins from Mind Movies and Nick Ortner from World Tapping Summit. I know both of these guys and thought you might like to check it out and get the free audio – just click EFT and Mind Movies below . . .

Then I replied on my wall…

Anthony C. Garcia Jr. If you post your spam on my wall, you get removed from my friends list, and I broadcast your douchebaginess to my 3000+ friends here. Paul you posted an ad on my lawn without permission. Not cool.

Friends, if you don’t like douchebags, and Paul Cutright is on your friend list, I suggest you remove him as I have.

When will marketers get a clue?

Harsh? Maybe.  But do you disagree?  Shortly after this post(and a dozen likes and comments on my post), Paul sent me a message on FB.  Here is the thread from beginning to end.

Subject: Please accept my apologies

Paul Cutright August 9 at 11:57am

Hi Anthony — please know that I meant no offense in sending you that message. I see you unfriended me already.

I guess I don’t understand your hostility, though, when a simple request to not do anything like that again would do.

I don’t expect us to be “FB friends” again, but I would appreciate you deleting the unecessarily nasty “douchebag” message you posted. Makes me think you have no idea who I am or what I am about.

Paul

Anthony C. Garcia Jr. August 9 at 2:59pm

Paul,

Placing an unsolicited ad on my wall(or anyone’s) is a hostile act. Just because it is possible doesn’t mean you should. I only responded in proportion to the initial hostile act taken by you.

And tell me why I would want to know someone who would place something on my wall without my permission? You were clever enough to see that you could expose your message on my wall, are you not clever enough to understand my response? I was only using the same tool that you were to get my message across.

Has nobody called you on this before? Will you stop spamming people’s walls? Or are just sorry because someone actually did something you didn’t expect and you feel like you have egg on your mug?

I am ready to listen and hear you out put please know that I will share our conversation with my FB friends if you do choose to reply.

Anthony.

Paul Cutright August 9 at 3:17pm Report

Anthony,

Thank you for responding to my message. I understand you interpreted my post as a hostile act. The perception of hostility is in your interpretation, not in my intention. And your assumption of hostile intent without checking it out first is, in my opinion, over the top and uncalled for, especially with your vulgar epithet.

As a matter of fact, I have NEVER posted anything like this EVER before, for what it’s worth. No one has ever called me on this because it has never happened before. Again, you have made an incorrect assumption about my behavior as a social media participant and business person without any grounding whatsoever.

This was simply a mistake, plain and simple. Where I come from mistakes call for correction, not judgment or punishment. But, that’s just where I come from.

I am more than willing for you to share this conversation with your friends. I am also more than willing to clear this up, but I am not sure you are.

Paul

Anthony C. Garcia Jr. August 9 at 3:59pm

Paul,

I make mistakes, and if you were the unwitting recipient of the end of my patience with spam on my FBwall, I can accept that and broadcast that as well. As most of my friends can attest, my heart is bigger than my mouth.

If you are indeed a spammer, people will know and call you on it, if you are not, then good for you and good for everyone.

As you can guess, I am simply defending my wall and others who complain and just accept it as part of their FB experience. Somebody has to.

There are lessons everywhere you look, and if you and I can turn this into something that will help others have a better experience on FB or even market themselves better, I would vote for that. How about you?

Enjoy the day,

Anthony

<End of thread>

If you are a marketer or social media guru that recommends posting unsolicited advertising on a ‘friends’ Facebook wall, please rethink your tactics.    It won’t be long before people understand what I did.   That my Facebook wall is a more powerful weapon in MY hands than it is in yours.

Of course, this is not the only reason you shouldn’t do it. Bottom line, it just doesn’t work.(More on that in a separate post)

I am not convinced that Paul isn’t a spammer, are you?

What are your thoughts?  What part can you play in turning down the digital noises and spam during your FB Experience?

If you are a marketer, would you recommend or participate in posting ads on other’s walls without their consent? Why?

Networking is more than shaking hands and passing around business cards. Based on a survey I conducted of more than 2,000 people throughout the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia, it’s about building your “social capital.” The highest-rated traits in the survey are the ones related to developing and maintaining good relationships. For years I’ve been teaching people that this process is more about “farming” than it is about “hunting.” It’s about cultivating relationships with other business professionals. It’s about realizing the capital that comes from building social relationships.

The following traits were ranked in order of perceived importance to networking. They are the traits that will make you a “master networker.”

1. Follows up on Referrals. This was ranked as the NUMBER ONE trait of successful networkers. If you present an opportunity, whether it is a simple piece of information, a special contact, or a qualified business referral, to someone who consistently fails to follow up successfully, it’s no secret that eventually you’ll stop wasting your time with this person.

2. Positive Attitude. A consistently negative attitude makes people dislike being around you and drives away referrals; a positive attitude makes people want to associate and cooperate with you. Positive business professionals are like magnets. Others want to be around them and will send their friends, family and associates to them.

3. Enthusiastic/Motivated. Think about the people you know. Who gets the most referrals? People who show the most motivation, right? It has been said that the best sales characteristic is enthusiasm. To be respected within our networks, we at least need to sell ourselves with enthusiasm. Once we’ve done an effective job of selling ourselves, we will be able to reap the reward of seeing our contacts sell us to others! That is motivation in and of itself!

4. Trustworthy. When you refer one person to another, you are putting your reputation on the line. You have to be able to trust your referral partner and be trusted in return. Neither you nor anyone else will refer a contact or valuable information to someone who can’t be trusted to handle it well.

5. Good Listening Skills. Our success as networkers depends on how well we can listen and learn. The faster you and your networking partner learn what you need to know about each other, the faster you’ll establish a valuable relationship. Communicate well, and listen well.

6. Networks Always. Master networkers are never “off-duty.” Networking is so natural to them that they can be found networking in the grocery store line, at the doctor’s office and when picking the kids up from school, as well as at the chamber mixers and networking meetings.

7. Thanks People. Gratitude is sorely lacking in today’s business world. Expressing gratitude to business associates and clients is just another building-block in the cultivation of relationships that will lead to increased referrals. People like to refer others to business professionals who go above and beyond. Thanking others at every opportunity will help you stand out from the crowd.

8. Enjoys Helping. Helping others can be done in a variety of ways, from literally showing up to help with an office move, to clipping a helpful and interesting article and mailing it to an associate or client. Master networkers keep their eyes and ears open for opportunities to advance other people’s interests whenever they can.

9. Sincere. Insincerity is like a cake without frosting! You can offer the help, the thanks, the

listening ear, but if you are not sincerely interested in the other person, they will know it! Those who have developed successful networking skills convey their sincerity at every turn. One of the best ways to develop this trait is to give your undivided attention to the individual with whom you are developing a referral relationship.

10. Works Their Network. It’s not net-sit or net-eat, it’s net-WORK and master networkers don’t let any opportunity to work their networks pass them by. They manage their contacts with contact-management software, organize their email address files and carry their referral partners’ business cards as well as their own. They set up appointments to get better acquainted with new contacts so that they can learn as much about them as possible so that they can truly become part of each other’s networks.

Do you see the trend with these 10 points? They all tie in to long-term relationship building, not simply stalking the prey for the big kill. People who take the time to build their social capital are the ones who will have new business referred to them over and over. The key is to build mutually beneficial business relationships. Only then will you succeed as a master networker.

Called the “father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author.  He is the Founder and Chairman of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization.  His newest book, Networking Like a Pro, can be viewed at www.IvanMisner.com.  Dr. Misner is also the Sr. Partner for the Referral Institute, an international referral training company.

With social media, the key to success is outlining a strategy that takes into account the amount of time you can realistically dedicate each day to your online marketing efforts, and to be consistent.  People have a tendency to get online at random times and start clicking away. Then something mysterious happens in the “space-time continuum” and all of a sudden two hours go by and they have nothing to show for it!  Here’s how to avoid falling victim to that trap . . . have a plan and work it! Write up a plan for how often you will work your social media and for how long.

Sit down and map out a weekly schedule that outlines specific days and times during which you will spend developing your social media strategy. Figure out what’s realistic and what makes sense for your company and go from there. For example, you might schedule yourself simply to post one update at 9 a.m., one at 1 p.m., and one at 5 p.m. daily, and then dedicate 10 minutes to responding to comments and direct messages at 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. Mondays and Wednesdays.  On Tuesdays and Thursdays, you might then dedicate 10 minutes at 10 a.m. and 10 minutes at 3 p.m. to re-tweeting people’s comments that you find valuable and also thanking people for mentioning you or for re-tweeting your posts. This is just an example, but you should definitely take the time to devise a social media strategy along these lines that specifically makes sense for you.

Leverage your time! Be sure to utilize the various tools currently available that are designed specifically to save you time in your social media efforts. For example, sites like http://ping.fm, www.seesmic.com, and www.tweetdeck.com are designed to send your social media updates to multiple social networking sites, including Twitter and Facebook, with one click.

Some sites even allow you to link multiple Facebook and Twitter accounts (if you have more than one) to one desktop application where you can post updates to all sites as well as view and respond to your friends’ posts on those sites and keep a log of all your past posts. This means no more logging into multiple social networking sites . . .  you can manage all your social networking accounts from one place!

Also, there are sites such as www.cotweet.com where you can schedule updates in advance so your updates will be posting even while you’re not online. With all the traveling I do, this is a tool that I’ve personally found to be very useful.

Once you have your strategy in place, you will no doubt be anxious to start seeing a return on your online networking investment and it’s very important to remember one thing: Networking, whether online or face-to-face, is more about farming than it is about hunting.  It’s about cultivating relationships with people. The bottom line is – it takes time. It is about building the credibility of your brand. That doesn’t happen overnight.

Return on Investment (ROI) is directly correlated to either:

1.     Dollars spent (online paid marketing), or

2.     Time and/or effort spent – in saturating and building strong profiles on whatever social media channels are deemed effective for the brand (including blogging).

Don’t forget that some businesses will benefit much more from spending more effort on “niche” networks that may have less traffic, but that are more targeted to the brand’s ultimate consumer.

If your network is a mile wide and an inch deep it will not be successful. It is important that you create a network that is both wide and deep. You do this by being visible and engaging in the conversation. Over time, this gives you credibility that leads to building your brand and your sales and that will ultimately give you the biggest ROI for your online marketing efforts.

Most of what I’ve discussed so far has focused on what you should do in order to carry out an effective and profitable social media campaign for your business. But there are also some things you should be sure to avoid in order to be successful.

Below are the top five common mistakes that businesses make when it comes to social media networking—avoid all of these:

1.     Spending too much time on sites you enjoy and not fully evaluating whether those particular sites are the most effective ones for your efforts.

2.     Going onto a site for “work” and then running down rabbit holes getting distracted by friends who may have posted something interesting or something that requires a response.

3.     Not being able to properly define when it is more cost-effective to delegate certain social media responsibilities to someone else to handle.

4.     Setting up a blog, Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter page and then not keeping it populated – consistency and fresh content are key.

5.     Forgetting that social media is about engaging in the conversation and not just about selling.

Called the “father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author.  He is the Founder and Chairman of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization.  His newest book, Networking Like a Pro, can be viewed at www.IvanMisner.com.  Dr. Misner is also the Sr. Partner for the Referral Institute, an international referral training company.

I went to my first French literary evening earlier this week. I’m living in Paris for a few months, trying to get better at French and immerse myself in another culture, and a friend who lives here asked me if I’d like to attend, as a way of, in her words, “taking a bath in French.” Well, I’m eager – I’m here to learn– so I said yes, of course.

It was an evening to mark the publication of the final volumes of translations of Henry James, courtesy of a writer-scholar Jean Pavan, who has made a career out of the work of the great American expatriate writer.

The reading, which was actually a lecture and reading, took place on the second floor of an historic little spot, Café de la Mairie, across the street from the church of Saint-Sulpice (a church which, for fans of phenomenally successful action thrillers, figures prominently in “The Da Vinci Code”). The evening was part of an event called “Les Mardis Littéraires,” or “Literary Tuesdays.”

I got there about 20 minutes ahead of time, being over-punctual in my American way, which meant that I was almost unthinkably early by French standards (the French, especially the Parisians, are never early, though they’re rarely actually late). I chatted briefly in my bad French with M. Pavan, whom I’d met once before, and then the friend who’d invited me arrived, and we took our spots near the front, crowded into a little booth. The room filled up quickly.

Pavan began to speak, but then was interrupted by the waiter, who appeared to ask how many people wanted red wine, white wine, beer, water, etc. – in France, one must nourish the body before the mind. So different from the book gatherings I’ve attended in New York, where there’s usually an open bar. (Though, to be fair, increasingly, book readings are being held at pubs and such.) Anyway, the drinks orders done, the evening proceeded.

Pavan spoke about his work on James, and how James wasn’t as well known in France as he might have been, though one James story, “The Beast in the Jungle,” is very popular here. Then a woman at his side read a few pages of one of James’s stories that Pavan had translated. She read in a husky, smoky voice, bringing much more sensuality and breathlessness to the prose than it actually possesses in English, but it sounded beautiful nevertheless.

Following her reading, Pavan gave a brief explication of the story. She read three excerpts, and Pavan gave little interpretations of each work. Then he took questions.

It lasted about two hours. What was remarkable to me was how much attention everyone paid to Pavan, to the reader, to the subject at hand. This was so different from the many book parties I’ve been to in New York, where people are usually thinking “Whom do I know here,” “How can I network this party,” “Am I talking to the right person who’ll help me” or “Is there someplace better I should be than here?”  In contrast, this literary evening was just that: an evening devoted to literature.

I mentioned this to an American friend who lives in Paris, and he told me that writers are at the top of the celebrity scale, taken very seriously. Then come engineers (this is France, after all, where streets are named after writers, engineers, industrialists and politicians. Never actors.) My American friend said that writers have pride of place here comparable to a pop-music or sports star in the U.S.

The evening said a lot about the seriousness of cultural studies in France, vis-à-vis the U.S., especially today, when American culture is a powerful tool, but American artists always have to fight for attention. Especially in our digital, hyperactive age.

Over the next year or so, I’m going to be exploring the nature of arts in America today, and what writers especially are doing to be heard above the din of competition.

I realize that America is not France – nor should it be. I do wish that we could give attention in the U.S. to writers of all sorts – not just the big-name ones. But there are ways to be heard, and ways to create the kind of literary café that exists in France in a digital domain that exists in the U.S., and globally.

Well, sort of. Everyone does talk about it, as if it’s some arcane area of human understanding and strategic communications that only the chosen few (or high school students) can comprehend. And may companies, and individuals, have taken to Tweeting, Facebooking, Google alerting, email blasting, blog-rolling and YouTubing.

But is there a method to this? Or is it a whole lemming thing happening, with everyone jumping over the social media cliff just because they’ve heard that there are riches to be made somewhere out there beyond the horizon.

Well, there has indeed been a big shift in the way we represent ourselves in the world. No doubt about it. The Internet has opened up communication to the personal and the public, and in many areas (such as in the lives of college students) they’ve melded.

In the business world, there’s also been a shift of moving away from the media message from big companies, toward one tailoring a personalized message, in effect niche marketing on a bigger scale. This is being done with more sophistication than in the past. That doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes see through the pitch. We all know how irritating it can be to be sold to, or manipulated into buying something through hypnotic language or other techniques, designed to move you towards action.

Now, I am not saying it is bad to sell anything, or to buy anything. But it’s time to leverage the tools of social media, alongside film and traditional public relations, in a specific way targeted toward today’s market, today’s consumer, today’s digital-savvy techno-literate end user.

At the same time,  many people have not caught on to the way the social media world really works, and need to be brought up to the contemporary age of media in a way that allows them to feel cosseted by the old while they’re being wooed by the new.

The primary focus of this approach is on relationship-building and connecting. Of building tribes of like minded people ready to drive a message home with complete authenticity and transparency.

There is nowhere to hide anymore!  Our lives are exposed, and this is a good thing!  We can leverage the exposure that used to take thousands of marketing dollars….  The world is our oyster and just a click away.

At Prosper Now, we’ve brought together some of the top minds in new and old media, who’ll teach you how to find your place, and execute your strategy, in a way that embraces traditional and nontraditional – and emerging – technologies.