The People Pleasers Guide To Taking Care of Yourself

OK so it’s been a minute since I have hollered at my people pleasing peeps.  Today I want to talk to you about taking care of yourself.  You are taking care of yourself aren’t you?  Being a people pleaser is hard work so, with that in mind, I want to try and make your life just little bit easier by following 3 simple rules.

When I wrote the People Pleasers Guide To Productivity, I was amazed at how many people connected with me on social media to tell me how much the people pleasing curse interferes with their success.  When I started writing recently on daily morning habits for success, I knew that I wanted to speak to the people in my life who aren’t taking care of themselves like they should.

There is nothing wrong with being a people pleaser per se.  The problem lies in the fact that people pleasers typically do a shitty job taking care of themselves.   If you can’t take care of yourself ultimately you won’t be able to take care of those people around you.

That leads me to my 3 simple steps for people pleasers to employ into their daily lives to ensure that they are taking care of themselves:

  1. Start with you first.  Starting with yourself first allows you to focus on you before your sickness (I mean this in the most loving way possible) takes hold of you and the entire day goes by and you haven’t done some basic things like take a shower or eat meals.

This is where having a morning routine like a power hour is so helpful.  This is time that you can focus on you and ensure that you are taking care of yourself.  If you don’t have a daily morning routine, you need one.  Everything else centers around this.

  1. Set Personal Values.  What’s most important to you in life?  God? Family? Your marriage? The Lakers? Money?  How often do you put less important tasks in front of more important ones?  People pleasers do this all the time.  Having a set of articulated personal and business values can help guide you on making decisions that are best for everyone.  Yes that even includes you.

Take some time in your morning routine and write a set of values out for yourself and revisit them from time-to-time.

  1. Set Boundaries.  People pleasers are awful at setting boundaries.  That’s why understanding your values is so important.  When you have values they can act as your personal boundaries to use when faced with a conflicting request.

So the next time your boss or a client wants you to work on a Sunday.  You can tell him/her that doesn’t work and why.  People pleasers are terrified to set boundaries because they are so worried about what someone might think about them if they say no.  If you are going to take care of yourself you have to learn to say no.

Take your morning routine or power hour as a time to review requests that people give you.  If you are a people pleaser, I would recommend never giving a yes to a request on the spot.  Always tell people you will think about it.

I think for the most part, the majority of us could give of ourselves more, myself included.  There are a special group of people, however, that give too much of themselves in ways that are self destructive.  Do you have a morning routine?  If not, start there and get going with that.  From there set values and work on boundaries.

If you are a people pleaser, what works best for you?

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8 Responses to “The People Pleasers Guide To Taking Care of Yourself”

  1. Lexihowe April 27, 2011 at 4:59 am #

    love it!

  2. Cinde Johnson May 4, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

    Fantastic post, Brandon! It’s a great reminder that it’s ok to want to please, but to also take care of yourself in the process! 😉

    • Brandon R Allen May 6, 2011 at 2:54 am #

      Thanks Cinde. So true but difficult for some people to realize.

  3. HuxleyCyGuy May 13, 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    Love the cartoon and the blog entry!  I’m working with a small team where one of the people is a self-professed “People Pleaser” and she knows it trips her up sometimes.   I’m going to share this with her

  4. Andrea Reindl June 11, 2011 at 10:20 pm #

    As a people pleaser on of the things that works for me is just letting people know I need a night to think about it. My default answer is no and I let people know that I need to think about it and get back to them. I also let them know that I’m careful about what I say yes to and explain that I’m careful saying yes because I want to keep my word.


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